Update!

It's been a while since I've written a blog so I thought I'd update my fellow bloggers with what has been going on in our lives. I am officially teaching again in a first grade classroom and will start my first day back in January as classes resume. I am ecstatic to be back in the classroom and have been working diligently to get my room the way I want it. Noah, Gracie, and Jaden have been helping me clean, organize, and get things set up in the class and they will transfer from St. Marys to Waynesville in January as well so that we are all at the same school. Eve started daycare close to the school and she loves going and spending time with her little peeps. She's perpetually surrounded by "big" kids so this is a nice change for her to "talk" with other toddlers and play.

Jon just had surgery to repair some bothersome problems he has been having and Eve is still struggling with her chronic sinus infection. She has been to the allergist twice and goes to the ENT to see if she needs sinus surgery to get her back to normal. My oldest and youngest "Hattenites" have seen better days, physically speaking.

Our Christmas was wonderful as all of the kids were in our home on Christmas morning to see all that Santa had brought. Jon's parents, Sally and Richard, were with us and they enjoyed watching the kids open their presents and play with all of their goodies. Santa brought me a new Suburban (well, that was a present to myself to haul the critters around) and Jon surprised me with exactly what I wanted--a Kitchen Aid mixer so that I can make my homemade pizza crust without kneading by hand. Yea!

I am halfway through my Master's program and have a 4.0 GPA thus far. I will graduate in October of 2009 and can't wait to get that pay increase (to help pay for that Suburban, no doubt!) As always, we have been really busy and have had another wonderful year together. All of us have grown, learned, and have gained a new found appreciation for each other. We are looking forward to a fabulous 2009 and can't wait to see what God has in store for us.

Have a wonderful New Year!

Have You Ever...

Have you ever went somewhere and you knew that was the place where you were meant to be? I've had this experience occur a few times, mostly on a spiritual basis in regards to finding a church home. More recently, this happened to me when I went to a job interview a couple of weeks ago. I have been searching for a teaching job for a few months now and since the school year is in full swing, teaching jobs are scarce. I have been substituting in two schools locally and although I've been thankful for the work, things just haven't "clicked." You know what I'm talking about, that special feeling that makes you know that you were destined to be at that particular location at that particular time for some specific purpose. Well, I just haven't felt that. I was getting discouraged and I applied for several jobs in my county and surrounding counties but had not heard back from anyone. A couple of weeks ago, I got a call for an interview for a position I applied for in Brantley County, which is about 45 minutes away from my home. I went to the interview with the attitude that I was going to just go to the interview for the sake of going, but when I got there I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that God was leading me to this school. I have NEVER, EVER interviewed with a panel of educators in which I felt so comfortable and that my views, style, and outlook on education meshed so well with the principal. She is a dynamic educator and I felt that she sees in me the value, desire, and passion that I have for teaching. When I left that interview, I was hoping that the interview team felt the same about me. About an hour after I got home, the principal called me and wanted me to come in the next morning for a second interview. After arranging daycare for all four of the kids (they were out of school that day), I accepted the interview and was asked many of the same questions. Feeling quite disheartened, I went home and mulled over the whole situation. An hour later, the principal called me to tell me that she was submitting my name to the board of education as her applicant for the position! Pending the results of the board meeting, I'll know on December 8th if I "officially" have the job! Pray that it all works out!

Fear: How to Turn a Watch Dog into a Scaredy Cat

What is fear? According to Wikipedia,

* Fear is an emotional response to threats and danger.

* Fear is often connected to pain.

* Fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance.

* Fear is one of several basic, innate emotions.

* Fear is a survival mechanism, and usually occurs in response to a specific negative stimulus.

After reading this definition, can't help but ponder what life would be like without fear. If there was no fear, then there wouldn't be any reason to be fearful, right? So that means no "threats and danger," no "pain," and no "negative stimulus." If people did not experience any of these situations, then nothing would go wrong. Children would not fall off of their bikes and get abrasions, no one would be heartbroken due to relationships breaking up, no one would die, etc. We would be living in a perfect world saturated with perpetual bliss. I do believe this place exists--it's called heaven--until I get there, I'm going to have to deal with fear.

I think that it is important to have a healthy level of fear regarding certain situations because it forces a person to be mindful of ramifications that will ensue as a result of an action. For example, walking through a parking lot at night to get to one's vehicle. Being mindful of the potential dangers of a situation of this nature prompts a person to take precautions such as having the ignition keys in hand, being aware of the surroundings, starting the vehicle and locking the doors once inside, not tarrying in the parking lot, etc. A person who does this respects the fear of being attacked and takes action to avoid being vulnerable. This is having a healthy level of fear.

On the other hand, fear can escalate into unhealthy levels in which a person's fear can be intense, persistent, and irrational. When this happens, the fear can overtake the person and alter the way the person lives. A person can become so paranoid of the situation, activity, thing, or person that is evoking the fear that there is a change in lifestyle as a result. The fear turns into anxiety and starts to take control of the person's moods, actions, and overall functioning in daily life. This is having a very unhealthy level of fear.

Like most people, I have experienced my fair share of pain in my life. Death has been a frequenter in my family for the past several years and the loss of loved ones has carved a sorrowful etching in my heart that will never be repaired. I have felt the pain that results from of not being loved, betrayal, and rejection. I have felt pain...and it hurts. Being at this stage in life reminds me of this isolation that is felt from hurt and loss. This is explained in a poem from Ella Wheeler Wilcox entitled, "Solitude." It reads:

LAUGH, and the world laughs with you;

Weep, and you weep alone.

For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,

But has trouble enough of it's own.

Sing, and the hills will answer;

Sigh, it is lost on the air.

The echoes bound to a joyful sound,

But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;

Grieve, and they turn and go.

They want full measure of all your pleasure,

But they do not need your woe.

Be glad, and your friends are many;

Be sad, and you lose them all.

There are none to decline your nectared wine,

But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;

Fast, and the world goes by.

Succeed and give, and it helps you live,

But no man can help you die.

There is room in the halls of pleasure

For a long and lordly train,

But one by one we must all file on

Through the narrow aisles of pain.

When experiencing feelings of devastation, it is common for a person to feel alone and isolated. It is also normal for a person to become fearful of the triggers that brought on the pain in the first place and to try to protect oneself from being hurt again. But living in fear and allowing that fear to take control of a person's life can put the person in a more turmoil than the initial stimulus.

I don't want live in constant fear. I don't want to allow fear to take control of me and dictate my mood, actions, and reactions. I want to be aware of the fear, accept it, and move on with my life. I want to know that if something negative happens, I will be able to get through it all and I will be okay. I want to prevail...and I will. James Thurber once said, "Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." I am aware of my anger. I am aware of my fears. I am choosing to leave them where they are and move on with my life. For better or for worse, I am here and fear will not control me anymore.

Balanced Life

I love days like today. I started this Monday morning like I always do--woke up at 4:30 with Jon, ironed his clothes and saw him off to work, then I hopped in the shower, got ready for the day, got the kids up for school, etc. But today was one of my rare days in which I felt like all was balanced. I had my hands in everything--cleaning, laundry, schoolwork, spending one-on-one time with the kids, working in the yard, cooking, cleaning again, spending time with Jon. I accomplished so much today and felt like everyone got what they needed. There aren't many days like this as I generally have to focus on one "big" task along with my daily routine. Today, I had a lot of projects going on, completed them all, and met every one's needs. That makes me very, very happy...and when Mama's happy, everybody's happy. :-)

My Family

Last weekend my sister-in-law, Dana, her daughter, and one of her friends came to visit us for the weekend. We had a blast going to the beach (even though there was a shark attack that day), spending time at the pool, going to dinner, and bowling. We went down to the riverfront where Dana took this picture of me and my family. Look at those children--aren't they precious? Jon and I enjoyed spending time with Dana and the girls loved tagging along behind the teenagers...you know, our girls think they're teens in training. I'm relishing these days of playing dress up, Barbies, and family night because before I know it, these little ones are going to be grown. For now, they're our little ones, and little is just fine with me.

Happy Feet

In April, I broke my right foot while walking across the street. Yes, I said I broke my foot while walking across the street. I know, it sounds like a dramatic story, but it is true. Jon and I were walking back to the truck after attending a local festival and as we were walking across the street he warned me to be careful walking up on the curb because there was a slight drop right in front of the curb. I replied, in a not-so-nice way, might I add, "I see it!" Just as soon as the words rolled off of my tongue I felt instantaneous pain shooting through my foot. Voila! The foot was fractured! Well, after being in a boot for six weeks I am finally free to walk about allowing my toes to breathe in their short, chubby (but oh-so-cute) glory. I learned a valuable lesson with this whole ordeal: watch what you say. If I could turn back time, I would have bit my tongue instead of inserting that foot in my mouth and maybe I wouldn't have broken it!

The Queen of Clean

I have this thing for aprons...I don't know why, but I probably have about 15 aprons that I wear while cooking. I've always loved wearing an apron, not so much for the functionality, but rather for the feeling it gives me of being a wife, mother, and a happy homemaker. I kind of feel like June Cleaver when I wear them and I like the wholesome persona. Anyway, my mother-in-law purchased this one for me that has "Mrs. Hatten" embroidered on the front. I love this apron, not only because it has my name on it, but check out the little ruffle at the bottom. Isn't it cute? In this picture, I was sporting my "I'm too sexy for this apron" look and was getting ready to scrub the toilet and clean the bathroom. I wore it so I wouldn't get a bleach stain on my clothes. Glamorous, huh?

Anger Management

I've always had a bit of a temper--even when I was younger. My first distinct memory of out-and-out tantruming isn't as a child, but as a teenager instead. I was in high school in the late 80's and skyscraper hair styles were all the rage...the bigger, the better. I have naturally curly hair so I didn't have to get a perm like most of the girls, but I did have to have it frosted (yes, I said frosted--not highlighted with foils, but pulled through a cap with a knitting needle.) I had THE hair when I was in high school. It was big, bold, and bodacious. Anyway, one morning I was getting ready for school and my hair just wouldn't cooperate. I had my Aqua Net in one hand and sprayed my bangs until they were dripping with hairspray then I held them up with a pick and blew them dry with my hairdryer so that they were standing at attention. My hair had its normal amount of volume, but the shape was just all wrong and my bangs were just not standing the way I wanted. I was infuriated, but there was nothing I could do. My friend was waiting to give me a ride and I didn't have time to wash my hair and start all over again. Instead of chocking it all up to a bad hair day, I went into an all out rage. My mother was sitting at the dining room table listening to my grumbling and was hearing this all unfold. I was getting angrier by the second and finally I had to blow. I began SCREAMING at my mother and my friend (who was nice enough to pick me up and give me a ride to school, if I might add, so I didn't have to ride the bus) while complaining about my hair. I threw my teasing comb, chucked the hairspray can, and kicked the trashcan on the way out of the bathroom. My mom just sat in the dining room and would say to me in a calm voice, "Heather, it looks good. Quit getting so mad," as she puffed religiously on her cigarette and drank her coffee. My tantrum ended and I went to school, but this ritual occurred at least a couple of times a week. Looking back, I wonder why my mom didn't take that coffee cup of hers and whirl it at me when I was acting like a complete idiot...I'll have to ask her that.